apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
