Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
