Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
