i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
