My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
