he was CRYING into my vagina
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
