I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
