she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
