why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
