btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
