you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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