so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
