Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
