Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
