Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
