I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
