but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
