I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
