Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
