foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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