so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
