Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
