: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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