at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
