and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
