I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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