we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I AM VODKA MAN
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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