it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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