i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
