You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
