My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
