How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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