I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
