one two three fourrrrnication!
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
