I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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