after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
