i'm signing you up for texting rehab
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
