so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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