Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
