Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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