I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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