Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
how does that bad decision feel?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
