I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
