census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
