he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
