Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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