cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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