question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
