just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
