After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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