just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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