Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
