Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
