i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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