I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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