there was a trapeze. enough said
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
