Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
God, I missed his penis.
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