she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
