Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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