My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
