I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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