Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
