Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Randomize
