Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
