Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
