wrigley field is MILF paradise
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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