Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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